Curmudgeon Queen blows off steam

i've got to get back to my work, here in this cube among a hundred other cubes, in an office with no windows, in the middle of a Portland winter when the sun can barely pass through the clouds.

i copied the sentence above from my last post.  i kind of like it.  One might be right to think i could have at least edited it first.  But no, i thought it, i wrote it, i felt it.

Things are out of sync. me for sure; i'm out of sorts but things are not right at work.  i need to compartmentalize like some can do.  Bill Clinton could do it, i've heard.  i need a work compartment; a place to go and put on my "professional" uniform, so to speak.  That is how he governed while defending himself against impeachment, how he ran for president while being exposed for having an affair.  Compartmentalize.  Be a good soldier. Focus.

 

Many people would be glad for my job; i really am more grateful than i sound.  They would be all about doing what was necessary to secure and keep the job. Stick your tongues back in your mouths, mi amigos.  i know how much you want my job!  Quit drooling!  

Job loss anxiety.  That is one element of what's going on with me.  Couple that with weirdness at work.  Rob, my buddy, got fired a few weeks ago... more jitters.  i can overreact on occasion.  Ok, Wynd, i hear you.  Queen of Curmudgeon... yeah, i know.  Drama Queen, that's me, right?

Still, i trust my instinct/intuition.  Something is not right and i know i am an odd duck.  Really.  i get it and i don't mind.  i don't mind because I LIKE ME.  But odd ducks make some people nervous.  And in weird times... oh, i don't know.  

So, that is why compartmentalization would be a great skill.  Just be a soldier.  Take your orders. Carry them out. Do your job.  Put your smile mask on, wash your hands, you're done.

I have done this many times in the past.  Why is it different now?  The company knows i'm odd, why now do they want me to pretend to be 'professional'.  Real professionals got to finish college.  Real professionals have careers.  i have a job.  i like my job, but it is just a job.  

My job is the tool i use to pay for the rest of my life.  That's what i've always said.  I like the bargain i have struck.  Perhaps my company no longer sees me as an asset.  

Am i making any sense at all?  i'm rambling. What's my point?   

Weirdness at work + financial meltdown + SAD + Curmudgeon thing = Job Loss Anxiety.

So...

Curmudgeon's lament

i am in one crappy mood today. i called Wynd last night and begged her to talk me down. i can feel my mood trying to spiral downward. This time of year i need to make sure i get enough sunlight or i will get seasonal affected disorder (SAD). Actually, that may be contributing to my mood.

i am writing from work on my lunch so this will be short. It is stupid things that are getting to me. Today we were informed that all emails must use a specific font and color with no background. It is more professional.

i have been at this job for 10 years and mostly like it but more and more i feel i am being Wal-Marted. The whole email thing is just a straw on the camel's back, i understand that. The days are getting longer and my winter malaise will pass, i get that too.

Wynd reminded me last night that i am the Queen of Curmudgeon. True, i like being a curmudgeon. i hate 'happy talk'. This is the noise of people who want to live with their head in the sand. "Don't make me look at reality. I want to pretend all of the world is a Thomas Kindaid painting."

On the otherhand, my inability to be that person may be blinding me to a more 'positive' attitude.

i don't know. i'll have to pick this up later. I've got to get back to my work, here in this cube among a hundred other cubes, in an office with no windows, in the middle of a Portland winter when the sun can barely pass through the clouds.

Oy!

So much cute-atude!!

OMG!  i love this child!  Click the title to read the story and watch the video.

Go Damon!!  i'll be looking for him on Inauguration Day.

As promised

i said i would blog again today but i've lost heart for it.  i'm tired (got my chores done) and J and P had a big fight.  And, of course, my grandson pays the price.  Makes me sad.

As promised:

Moving Day Survival Kit

TP

paper towels

Handi-wipes

vinegar (for cleaning windows and mirrors)

large jug of earth-friendly cleaning concentrate

spray bottle (to use with cleaner above)

scrub brush

rubber gloves

coffee and/or tea

mugs (also filters for the coffee and filter holders)

teapot

bread, cheese and fruit

i have enough vacation days to take Inauguration Day off.  So picture me watching all the pomp and circumstance, flipping TV channels, crying and happy.  Our new president will be sworn in about 9am my time so that is how my day will begin.  

Oh, and i wanted to just mention that i have been listening to a podcast everyday called, The Archers.  It's a BBC daily radio play.  It lasts about 15 minutes and is set in a fictional rural English village.  i like it, for a soap opera.  With the soap opera going on around here, you would be right to wonder why i would listen to another one.  Anyway,  just a little recommend for ya.

Keep in touch, chickies.

So much to say and do, moving day survival kit and Inaugural Day plans

i did something yesterday that may cost me more than i'm comfortable with.  

i want to talk about it without sounding boastful.  i want to share the feelings i am experiencing about the spell i cast.  i also have a lot of work to do today and feel the itch to get going... oh, laundry, clean the coop.  Oy... my list. 

i want to say a million things about a million things.  i'm on a coffee buzz and want to visit. Scone, anyone?  

Meet the Press is really enjoyable this morning.  If you can catch it, you should. Bill Cosby is a hero to me.  When i was 12 or 13 years old, i babysat for a teacher.  He and his wife had a collection of Bill Cosby records.  i loved babysitting for them.  They always left something nice for me to eat and i was allowed to play the records.  Sweet memory... nice.

i went to Freddys yesterday and purchased a Moving Day Survival Kit/Housewarming Gift.  Jesse and Kali (each eighteen years old) just got their first apartment.  i too, got my first apartment at 18... Ummm, the nut doesn't fall far. Hey, they saved their money for first, last, assorted deposits and fees and pet deposits.  As i understand it, they have money to spare.

Good for them!  And i told them so.  i told them i was proud of them and that they had been patient in their search for an apartment and that they had chosen well.  They are only a couple of miles away, in a nice neighborhood, close to work and us.  Well done!

They didn't have a rental history so they were being asked to get co-signers for the lease.  A family friend refused and so did i.  Neither Travis nor i can afford to pay any arrears if the two of them default on a lease. They talked a lady into taking a chance on them.  Good for them, good for the lady taking a chance on them!

Our new president is on This Week.  i am so proud of him.  He sets such a good example.  You want to do and be better after listening to him.  Another scone anyone?

Our new president just said that to find the First Dog has been harder than finding a Commerce Secretary.  Heeheeheehee.... Goddess, i'm giddy.

Moving Day Survival Kit

Oh, my Goddess!  Hold the phone!  i'll get back to the kit in a minute.  This Week now has a panel for discussion that includes George Will, Peggy Noonan, Newt Gingrich and Thomas Friedman!  Can you believe it?  OMG!  These people supported, even applauded those who broke us, those who shamed us, those who are destroying our planet.  i believe these four stooges would do it again. They are resisting Obama, in hopes of capitalizing on any failure Obama may have.  Revisionist historians!  Machiavellian propagandists!

I agree with Pilosi that the tax cuts to the rich must be repealed and RAISED!  You people got us here so now you must begin to at least contribute to our recovery.  Simple, stupid.

i cannot buy enough stuff to save the world.  In fact, that would destroy it faster.  

First Law: Reduce (Second Law: Reuse, Third Law: Recycle).  We need to buy less and redifine our buying habits, not mindlessly buy stuff.  

Ok, mi amigos.  i need a chill pill.  i'm going to go clean the chicken coop and start the laundry.  

I WILL WRITE AGAIN LATER.  Still need to give out the Moving Day Survival Kit and talk about Inauguration Day plans.  And i still want to talk about how it feels to do the kit/gift for the kids big day.

Later Chickies.

Change is constant, chickies

Jessica's brother died, night before last...  it's hard to know what to say because i didn't know him well.  He was a musician, i understand. i'm certain there is a special place in heaven for musicians. i admire anyone who can play an instrument.

i just wanted to honor him with a small mention.  Jessica will need lots of love for awhile. i hope i can be of some help to her.  Peace, love and light to all.

i'm having a hard time writing.  My arm is really sore.  i don't know what i did to it but it hurts.  Ouch!

i have a lot of work to do this weekend here on my little 'farmlette'.  Mostly, the chicken coop and their yard.  i've got a lot of straw to move.  Some can go into the raspberries boxes but most of it needs to be composted.  I AM OVERRUN WITH STRAW AND CHICKEN POOP to compost.  Straw is working wonderful as an insulator around the coop and i put a lot inside when the weather was so cold.

My spring project is to build a really nice composting system.  i've started researching and i'm going to use my income tax return, meager as it will be.  

I feel a list coming on.  

i also need to get a few yards of gravel and perhaps build another garden box.  Oh, and there's some car maintenance and my flat roof need a coat of sealer.

i love writing my life here and i love you dear readers (all two of you).  But i need to rest this arm.  Seriously, it hurts.  i'm off to rest up for my busy weekend.

Later, Chickies.

Cameras, cocoons and the coming spring

i picked out my new camera today.  The company i work for is giving me a camera for my tenth anniversary.  The dear woman in charge of ordering the camera gave me printouts with specs for four different cameras.  i haven't owned a camera in years except for the one that is on my cell phone.

i can't tell you a thing about it because i'm so lame about the technology but i'm excited!  i should have it in a few weeks.  First shots will be of the girls and my totally trashed yard, garden and chicken coop.  Winter is taking it's toll this year.  There will be TONS of cleanup next spring.  You know, spring is not that far off really.  February should produce a couple nice warm days and then March will roar in.

  

Between now and then, Obama will be sworn in and our long national nightmare will be on it's way to memory.  These years have been hard on me.  The weight of the shame and destruction our government has caused has affected me physically.  The despair and hopelessness has made me more and more withdrawn.  i have wrapped myself in a powerful cocoon.   i'm not sure i want to come out but i suppose i must; just as the spring must return.

We shall see.  i am stubborn.  i am stubborn but grateful.  i have much when so many have so little.  

Hey, moonroot posted a recipe for her 'hot mash' that she gave her chickens in the bitter cold.  i can't wait to try it out on my girls.  i'll report back.

So long for now dear amigos.